tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56570435960351882562024-03-21T22:26:23.776-07:00Old Man Coffee ChroniclesDoug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657043596035188256.post-47747362506827632202011-01-25T07:54:00.000-08:002011-01-25T09:12:21.045-08:00Winter in Missoula<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggrl12ILOMLOexSPICCJ7nDNWNNkpZ-CfuAltPrGqlAciaJDXCtswoUNT4fAanKLaUvHS_6YK5HigkpRAdBT2Jgb8CrVXawJ0paw_nokMSu8EJwmoIu0Ob6WfDxl9XGFvUpZYFM5x0Hg/s1600/Yurt2.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggrl12ILOMLOexSPICCJ7nDNWNNkpZ-CfuAltPrGqlAciaJDXCtswoUNT4fAanKLaUvHS_6YK5HigkpRAdBT2Jgb8CrVXawJ0paw_nokMSu8EJwmoIu0Ob6WfDxl9XGFvUpZYFM5x0Hg/s320/Yurt2.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566168304979300114" /></a>Oh Man! It's been awhile since Old Man Coffee Chronicles has fired off a hot blog post.........I apologize. When La Nina hits the northwest an unemployed landscaper has two options: ski or write blog posts. I chose the former. That being said, the backcountry is getting a little bit dangerous and my uncanny ability to break everything I touch has rendered most of my skiing equipment unusable. Plus I really like to update the blogosphere on the whereabouts and happenings of the Old Man Coffee Chronicle crew. <div><br /></div><div>I'll have a full report in a couple of days but in the meantime here are a few pictures of our most recent adventure at the Boulder Yurt outside of Sun Valley Idaho. Enjoy</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLUZMAXwLkouwUDl4-WOUxlx8whBw0F41KnOgLpYI17Na1WTNqeFe4MP3YL0ujqzc8UQ2CUQZJWkvNGsC4m5iYAjWiqNUm5GPMCjSbvuXINl8sj9m2lTMamDwnSODFoV_UDJNiAsNpxg/s320/Yurt1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566168121288588578" style="float: left; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px; " /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggrl12ILOMLOexSPICCJ7nDNWNNkpZ-CfuAltPrGqlAciaJDXCtswoUNT4fAanKLaUvHS_6YK5HigkpRAdBT2Jgb8CrVXawJ0paw_nokMSu8EJwmoIu0Ob6WfDxl9XGFvUpZYFM5x0Hg/s1600/Yurt2.jpg"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggrl12ILOMLOexSPICCJ7nDNWNNkpZ-CfuAltPrGqlAciaJDXCtswoUNT4fAanKLaUvHS_6YK5HigkpRAdBT2Jgb8CrVXawJ0paw_nokMSu8EJwmoIu0Ob6WfDxl9XGFvUpZYFM5x0Hg/s1600/Yurt2.jpg"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggrl12ILOMLOexSPICCJ7nDNWNNkpZ-CfuAltPrGqlAciaJDXCtswoUNT4fAanKLaUvHS_6YK5HigkpRAdBT2Jgb8CrVXawJ0paw_nokMSu8EJwmoIu0Ob6WfDxl9XGFvUpZYFM5x0Hg/s1600/Yurt2.jpg"></a></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGR1TW9A8jz-OuOS8QSqmM2R51WlufCskn4c53yWX4hrTkJ8wAm6ouubKbobGQzept6Usbw8oy-d3KN6pQN9-6gVRgUg8cEZ96S_CWGF8zhw7jykmXyMiNQqif9r3WePrq_sU5bR-X3Q/s1600/yurt3.jpg"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGR1TW9A8jz-OuOS8QSqmM2R51WlufCskn4c53yWX4hrTkJ8wAm6ouubKbobGQzept6Usbw8oy-d3KN6pQN9-6gVRgUg8cEZ96S_CWGF8zhw7jykmXyMiNQqif9r3WePrq_sU5bR-X3Q/s320/yurt3.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566171375777035634" style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px; " /></a></div><div>Unloading and Relaxing</div><div><br /></div><div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUMa2-ZwvLe55faBI7yJas_x1bvAjqaxIoMSNkRo4rg_VwmYxzA-1y_5uk9t6n1BAv0EAiu_smuAxkQLmraH3RIgX3NagFKxneVT7xftAeVQvS3pOx12nW4blp8XLbqePE0dUAw6yXmQ/s1600/yurt4.jpg"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUMa2-ZwvLe55faBI7yJas_x1bvAjqaxIoMSNkRo4rg_VwmYxzA-1y_5uk9t6n1BAv0EAiu_smuAxkQLmraH3RIgX3NagFKxneVT7xftAeVQvS3pOx12nW4blp8XLbqePE0dUAw6yXmQ/s320/yurt4.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566169728913674674" style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px; " /></a></div><div>Thats what 14 folks will do to the backcountry</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Doug "powder" Dale</div><div><div><br /></div></div></div>Doug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657043596035188256.post-34018741205862254792010-06-29T22:29:00.000-07:002010-06-29T23:09:43.252-07:00MIssoula Athletic EnterprisesMissoula Athletic Enterprise’s stock is sky high right now! Schultz wins his first National Series XC in Wisconsin, Corbin wins CDA with a course record, terminator Jenson breaks the top 10, and Matty Ice was ICYHOT with a 12th place in his first Ironman ever. Then there was a penalty ridden Halpin still taking 14th in a fast Pennsylvania field. And that was just this weekend! Last weekend Missoula dominated the BigHorn endurance run in Sheridan, WY. Anya Weschler took third overall in the 50K and crushed the woman’s field. Heidi Gaskill took 4th in the woman and I believe she was 11th overall. Local Mike Wolf dominated the 100 mile run and shattered the course record by 30 minutes.. Missoula is off the chart right now.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdWEM8ewxek1MaxA1jUCUq94trwD5TD94S_REx8PBbf0qr-K3lQgWDVtp_mH9MhS7Ztamd0CVo_pnbhoQx1j_Eb2Y47qcfgdQ6ED0QceYqoJAcnfx_eY88q2kVajAzOb4QkuCRlkQLfg/s1600/ice1.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdWEM8ewxek1MaxA1jUCUq94trwD5TD94S_REx8PBbf0qr-K3lQgWDVtp_mH9MhS7Ztamd0CVo_pnbhoQx1j_Eb2Y47qcfgdQ6ED0QceYqoJAcnfx_eY88q2kVajAzOb4QkuCRlkQLfg/s320/ice1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5488436201458459634" border="0" /></a>Let’s talk Matty Ice: ICYHOT has been training all winter, living like a monk and now it’s paying off. He swam like a dolphin without a tail, biked liked the wind blows, and started out the marathon like he was running a 10K and ended like he was running a 100K. Pure guts brought him across the finish line of his first Ironman in an amazing 12th place. He might have well been a lead singer in a boy band because the girls were going crazy. Two girls approached me to ask about him and I simply told them, “you girls better get in now because his stock is going through the roof!”<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXBwi_hfuF7YxuU-AoTFLhy0_yJwLDa60hum3gw0wpVS0UTEdcGzslQ9zqJHq0DHIlDB92EgIMa1a-2cAVGDKBEmrbUy1_EezQ1LDkj13X_FE00gaqAThUaGU_AjuIAfuLpIy_yf20PA/s1600/corbin1.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXBwi_hfuF7YxuU-AoTFLhy0_yJwLDa60hum3gw0wpVS0UTEdcGzslQ9zqJHq0DHIlDB92EgIMa1a-2cAVGDKBEmrbUy1_EezQ1LDkj13X_FE00gaqAThUaGU_AjuIAfuLpIy_yf20PA/s320/corbin1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5488436780527646450" border="0" /></a>Lets talk Corbin: She put on a clinic. I haven’t looked at her spits but from a spectators viewpoint it went as follows. Lindsey went out a bit hard on the bike but let off a little toward the end and gave up the lead to save some energy for the run. In the run she slowly chipped away at the leader (I don’t know names) and from what I could tell her splits never varied. It was like a wolf slowly wearing out its prey. She took the lead with a few miles left, never looked back, and shattered the course record in the process. A damn fine race!<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRNSk705EoJ8VveNyFmb_Or13xN9yuXplbzYd3JH3Gk9S-Vg0mtSmf1sYH9gnT1qWPzE7HYUhtrRgPq0MtXGxtGtLaWJi7Apx-RWyPtXhglA9sEDm54DOXZ0xv4PrBM49WWyXI7Y08Bg/s1600/jenson1.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRNSk705EoJ8VveNyFmb_Or13xN9yuXplbzYd3JH3Gk9S-Vg0mtSmf1sYH9gnT1qWPzE7HYUhtrRgPq0MtXGxtGtLaWJi7Apx-RWyPtXhglA9sEDm54DOXZ0xv4PrBM49WWyXI7Y08Bg/s320/jenson1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5488437088406207362" border="0" /></a>Lets talk Jenson: Terminator swam like a dolphin missing most of its tail. Once on the bike Jenson looked unreal. He had no one in sight the whole bike and still turned in the third fastest bike split. If you want to see pain and guts take a look at some of Adam’s run photos. I have never seen the terminator in as much pain as he was in this weekends marathon. Only Terminator can go to dental school 100 hours a week for four years and still get 9th in the pro field. Ballsy performance!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLoUpICNWKEaWB2IPr2TNuQpxXiFQlD_oURVLR1nbnoTS8LoUodPI0GX1KoBkvKDbpGsYxhbkmHNHNPIu453-wvz4AtDGp0B7vPn_dUfRq6HjRkRWkVq99FtkEhB_0fL3r-jhGySYP6A/s1600/schultz2.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 209px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLoUpICNWKEaWB2IPr2TNuQpxXiFQlD_oURVLR1nbnoTS8LoUodPI0GX1KoBkvKDbpGsYxhbkmHNHNPIu453-wvz4AtDGp0B7vPn_dUfRq6HjRkRWkVq99FtkEhB_0fL3r-jhGySYP6A/s320/schultz2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5488441656493465506" border="0" /></a>Lets talk Full Throttle Sam Schultz: First national series XC win! A huge performance from the tenacious Missoula badger. He’s been training with the crazy eye over the last couple of months and it's paying dividends. Somewhere on that Wisconsin race course there is half a throttle lying in the grass where Sam broke it off past full!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Doug "ironfan" DaleDoug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657043596035188256.post-30185627400316548472010-06-14T09:41:00.000-07:002010-06-14T11:17:20.265-07:00Camp CrypticWhat do you get when you combine eight mangy cats, gnarly ridgeline dirt-bike trails, a hangover and a hot day? <br /><br />Camp Cryptic!<br /><br />As with most things we do, camp cryptic is a fly by the seat of your pants operation. Unofficail Camp Cryptic proprietor "Crypic Phil" made a call to Missoula on Friday informing us that the Tally lake trails west of Whitefish had cleared of snow. A small crew was assembled Saturday morning and that evening we were sipping keg beer in Whitefish on the new Great Northern Cycles patio. <br /><br />The Flathead valley trails are a different breed than those here in Missoula. Most are made by dirtbikes, they are rocky, very rooty, steep, long, and technical. We rode for five hours and 90% was singletrack. It's fun to brush up on technical climbing and descending, and it makes a guy want to buy a full suspension.<br /><br />The crew was a motley bunch. Representing the Flathead was ride leader Clint "the lung" Muhlfield and his cronies Matt "ultralite" Butterfield, Ben"decends like the wind" Parsons, "Cryptic Phil", and Ben "all that is man" Ruffatto. Representing Missoula was Bryce "powerstrip" Daviss, Sam "world cup" Schultz, and myself Doug "one is all you need" Dale. A little side note on Ruffatto: He's been in Med school in Seattle for the last year and this was his third ride of the season. Any mortal man would have been eaten by the wolves but Ruffatto is barley human.<br /><br />Our planned route was Reid Divide to Ashley Mountain trail, but ride leader Clint warned us that it had been years since he had done it. We set out with bottles full of Perpetum and pointed our 29ers toward the heavens! Bryce was having a bit of trouble pre-ride. His new Cannondale didn't arrive on time so he was borrowing Ben "rides it hard and puts it away wet" Horan's Kona Kula. As the name suggests, Horan's whip is in a decrepit state and his brake pad fell out as soon as we got to the trail head. Turns out it was so worn it had basically disingrated. So Bryce took off with only a rear brake. <br /><br />The first climb was a 45 minute grinder, similar to riding snowbowl overlook backwards but with more roots and rocks. At the top Bryce was no where to be seen and when he finally arrived he was visibly pissed. Part way up the climb, the bike started ghost shifting and if you know Bryce you know he is too strong for his own good. At some point while he was laying down over 1000 watts, the bike ghost shifted and in an instant he turned a deore XT derrailler into a $.15 peice of scrap metal. His day was over.<br /><br />The rest of us pushed on with Ultralite Butterfield and World Cup Schultz leading the way. The trails are amazing. You can never let your guard down, everysecond it's a rock, a punchy climb, a techi root sections, or a brake burning descent. 31/2 hours into the ride, Parsons has had two flats and our water is starting to run low when we come to a creek crossing. Ruffatto has been powering through his water and decides to run the risk of Giardia and fills his bottles. The rest of us push on, using our water sparingly. The day is heating up fast and the sun parching me. These trails are no place for a single-speed and all the hard efforts are starting to take a toll on my legs. <br /><br />We think we're getting close to finishing when "the Lung" informs us that there is one more climb. Ashly mountain climb turns out to be a 2000+ feet sun baked grunt. I couldn't sit because it was too steep for my gear and couldn't stand because my heart was about to blow up. For the next hour the seven of us fought and clawed our way to the summit, reaching it almost completely out of water and absolutely exhausted. Word Cup Schultz took the KOM, holding off Cannondale/Sportsman's Ultralite Butterfield and Cryptic Phil. We were starting to worry about Ruffatto when he finally summited looking worse than death. I gave him my last sip of water hoping it would get him home without a helicopter ride. The descent off Ashley was epic and we made it home in one piece.....but just barely. The Lung was so thirsty he was about to drink from puddles and had any of us had a mechanical at this point I think the wolves would have had their way with us.<br /><br />There will be many more camp Cryptics this summer and I don't think a guy could ride all the trails in one summer. Phil says he's been in the Flathead for two years and has only ridden 10% of the trails. Until next time good-bye to the land of epic rides.<br /><br />P.S. No one brought a camera but I think Butterfield took a couple on his fancy iPhone. I'll try to get them<br /><br />DougDoug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657043596035188256.post-19647600724909848142010-05-05T18:07:00.000-07:002010-05-05T18:45:09.802-07:00Self Checkout Issues<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcKAlprKH8cGrjKzIadm6iFoggoVSqibzi7qEx0QzvFMOk6c4XF-eeZeZipChdzAAfrC4WR6uaC7P7KXxlUo9vvZjJxJ8dgFG0qKuwtQqezEkPokVx6B6s3b7oUwkoOOLp7YhQS8F5nw/s1600/self-checkout-station.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcKAlprKH8cGrjKzIadm6iFoggoVSqibzi7qEx0QzvFMOk6c4XF-eeZeZipChdzAAfrC4WR6uaC7P7KXxlUo9vvZjJxJ8dgFG0qKuwtQqezEkPokVx6B6s3b7oUwkoOOLp7YhQS8F5nw/s320/self-checkout-station.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5467963237030502882" border="0" /></a><br />I really made a fool of myself in the Albertson's self checkout line this evening. Having just broken my backup mountain bike, I was flustered. I came home to Horan (my roommate) trying to install a new battery powered rotisserie on the grill. Horan has a nasty habit of buying lots of stuff. By stuff I mean things you really don't need and only use occasionally. Horan has lots of it and it's always in the way.<br /><br />Fast forward twenty minutes and I'm at the store buying a whole chicken so Horan can try out his new rotisserie. Along with the chicken I picked up a bag of red "patatos." Turns out when you look up "patato" on the touch screen look-up item function, it's not there. I started getting really flustered as it was rush hour at Albertsons and there was a line of hungry folks waiting for me to finish. Finally I called over the high school aged brace faced self checkout attendant, and in a not so pleasant tone asked her, "why the hell isn't patato in alphabetical order." She looked up at me and asked if I meant "potato." In fact I had meant "potato" and sure enough she clicked three screens over and there was a full screen of different "potatoes" to choose from. So next time you don't know how a common food is spelled do yourself a favor and don't use the self checkout.<br /><br />Doug "can't spell patato" DaleDoug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657043596035188256.post-58965306232084551762010-04-30T07:43:00.001-07:002010-04-30T07:58:12.369-07:00Coffee and Rain<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1FJ-_DMwPOnczsW8pdaA9OXaT_urpTmACwFYXp2a78ggSyD7sRI2dDMOTzeb9cN6pCS8iVDdC_tqeW7Je8nSjFeHq1OJRi1GUlD0idYN1DmcSGnfgrWBBHi4ZSKysSIe0O3XLiWgHYw/s1600/great+norther+bikes.htm"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5465944538751882162" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1FJ-_DMwPOnczsW8pdaA9OXaT_urpTmACwFYXp2a78ggSyD7sRI2dDMOTzeb9cN6pCS8iVDdC_tqeW7Je8nSjFeHq1OJRi1GUlD0idYN1DmcSGnfgrWBBHi4ZSKysSIe0O3XLiWgHYw/s320/great+norther+bikes.htm" /></a><br /><div>What do you do in Whitefish when you're supposed to be landscaping but it's raining too hard? If you're the biker type that likes to drink coffee, head straight to Great Northern Cycles. It's where true aficionados meet to talk bike and bean. Their coffe is some of the best. I'm half way through the cannibal ( a stiff cup of drip infused with two shots of espresso) and the restroom is occupied. Sandry construction is doing some road work across the street and I'm eyeing their port-a-loo. Later</div>Doug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657043596035188256.post-39782561658596148162010-03-31T09:21:00.000-07:002010-03-31T09:51:14.719-07:00The recession pig delivers<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ2Nigh749OBiP3vgBQUgaJRqJN7-rAJZJigH0fYsi5bLpg9Vdvwi4L-jbz5Aj4FAMBYPAX0JTyT6M-3GzavH9JZOcaritQdDU_IL90W5ar5Yz6i-L8BCZcrlgGbfYkIklxj74rGzRug/s1600/piggy_bank_orange.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 129px; height: 129px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ2Nigh749OBiP3vgBQUgaJRqJN7-rAJZJigH0fYsi5bLpg9Vdvwi4L-jbz5Aj4FAMBYPAX0JTyT6M-3GzavH9JZOcaritQdDU_IL90W5ar5Yz6i-L8BCZcrlgGbfYkIklxj74rGzRug/s320/piggy_bank_orange.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5454838241868535602" border="0" /></a>Today was a special day. We are moving out of our toxic black mold cave we've been living in for the last four months. I can't wait for my asthma to subside so I can return to exercising. Jamie and I have been slowly filling the recession pig with spare change over the winter and now it's time to reap the reward. $67.36 to be exact. We both agreed to go to dinner with the money but now the question is where. I think Jamie's choice would be the Lotus Cafe. It's super heady vegan and gluten free. To be fair you can get meat and wheat there too and it's actually really good. My choice is the War Bird Cafe in Driggs, ID. The War Bird is a war plane museum and cafe with a view of the Driggs runway. In the summer you can take to the sky in these classic air combat beauties. What more could you want!<br /><br />Choice #1 Lotus Cafe<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD_x_XRq3pefLGFT152KA45B_jntBDZ62WJ65IvdLzPlGxtlrSZRlFhUJAdxEbbTAy1WxAnoGdZ6n_4924BNrL7f5u_ESS8qaYlklozfJMPj8iZF5itT31jkpvgbeaWKriawCLjMR5Ag/s1600/quinoadish.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 262px; height: 174px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD_x_XRq3pefLGFT152KA45B_jntBDZ62WJ65IvdLzPlGxtlrSZRlFhUJAdxEbbTAy1WxAnoGdZ6n_4924BNrL7f5u_ESS8qaYlklozfJMPj8iZF5itT31jkpvgbeaWKriawCLjMR5Ag/s320/quinoadish.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5454838022553394146" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Choice#2 War Bird Cafe<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJJAp3etrGrUWN5Ith1JbL_KEWxvohXOdXER2hSpvyL0vB5eszXd4Ae4nqTqM1m24gqS4UEK32lEWMgh2Evyx2UGuZFt-r9C9x8KDJmv55M77vqfXhL0L_AuMsSFTPzygFAKXre-4S-g/s1600/warbird.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 268px; height: 178px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJJAp3etrGrUWN5Ith1JbL_KEWxvohXOdXER2hSpvyL0vB5eszXd4Ae4nqTqM1m24gqS4UEK32lEWMgh2Evyx2UGuZFt-r9C9x8KDJmv55M77vqfXhL0L_AuMsSFTPzygFAKXre-4S-g/s320/warbird.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5454839194248322802" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />Doug "loves all planes" DaleDoug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657043596035188256.post-19864069201934471972010-03-28T21:24:00.000-07:002010-03-28T21:53:27.237-07:00It is derby seasonIt is called the rental derby and from the numerous folks I've talked with, it is the hardest and possibly the most dangerous event you will ever do on alpine skis. The drill is simple. Grab a pair of sport skis (beginner skis, usually super skinny old Volkl's that we rent southerners who have never skied) and set the binding to a type 1 skier (super loose release setting). The skis cant be above your chin. Every rental shop employee in Jackson (probably almost 100) does this and we all ride the tram to the top of ol' Jackson Hole. At the top everybody throws their skis in a pile and heads to the start line 100 feet away. It is a Le mans start and you have to grab the first two skis you see. You might get a 140cm Volkl and a 160cm Rossingnol. Immediately set the binding to fit your boot and take off down the hill. The first man to the bottom wins, absolutely no rules except you have to cross the finish with both skis on your feet. The stories are gruesome, and crashing hard is part of the game. Endurance and a neutral stance are the key to survival as a slight bobble will be too much torque for the rental binding to take and you'll be on your ass and sliding down some icy chute before you know it. The fastest route down is heinous, and even on a good year it is rocky and steep, this year it might be almost unskiable. I'm going to try to round up a helmet cam. I can't wait!Doug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657043596035188256.post-47434041548767107052010-03-24T08:58:00.000-07:002010-03-24T11:14:48.628-07:00The great rear suspension dilemaHere is the issue: Jamie wants to buy a new full suspension xc mountain bike. She wants my help. Her criteria for the perfect bike are listed below:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Fun and comfortable to ride all day but could still be raced occasionally.</span><br /><br />With this in mind I have set out on a researching frenzy to find the best four to five inch bike for the buck. What I've found is mind boggling.<br /><br />Being a 29er single speed hardtail rider for many years now, the last time I looked seriously at a full squishy was when I bought the original Jamis Dakar XLT 1.0 back in highschool. It was great on the descents but a true pedal bobbing power robbing pig on the climbs.<br /><br />I've been researching suspensions designs for two solid weeks now and the next bike I buy, whether it be a xc racer or an all day trail bike is going to have full suspension. I'm very impressed with the new systems out there.<br /><br />The holy grail of any full suspension is a vertical axle path. The two biggest obstacles for any bike designer is to have a rear suspension that doesn't bob under pedaling inputs and doesn't stiffen up under braking. Pedal bobbing has to a large degree been alleviated by advanced shocks with special valving built in that counter acts pedaling forces (i.e. Pro Pedal for Fox, SPV for manitou). Braking is a completely different can of worms. I'm not an engineer and this shit get complicated really quickly, but to put in layman's terms, the more vertical the axle path in relation to the bottom bracket, the less changing chain tension affects the suspension, and the more active the suspension will be under braking. Basically there are a bunch of designs out there that are trying to do the same thing. It's too complicated for me to explain so i'm going to let the Mountain Bike Action dual Suspension encyclopedia explain.<br /><br />http://www.mbaction.com/ME2/dirmod.asp?sid=&nm=&type=news&mod=News&mid=9A02E3B96F2A415ABC72CB5F516B4C10&tier=3&nid=64EA566E28D243838F273868DD20362A<br /><br />They won't let me use the copy/paste function so go to their site and learn for yourself. Here is what any perspective full squishy buyer should focus on.<br /><br />DW-Link: Pioneered by Dave Weagle, this is my favorite system. Check it out on Dw-link.com<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9xWti5Z22jKuiVsMjK7y4JpdxLcQ-3mcs1D8NxmjuriLkvsm8Px5DRBSjFUld0MZL5Sqjs0wYAZB4Cih-nQctNRL312FBtKs5gZY_GeFF0D8cP9AKWlkB91bB3JLp30A6VTxV9_WXEQ/s1600/dw-link.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9xWti5Z22jKuiVsMjK7y4JpdxLcQ-3mcs1D8NxmjuriLkvsm8Px5DRBSjFUld0MZL5Sqjs0wYAZB4Cih-nQctNRL312FBtKs5gZY_GeFF0D8cP9AKWlkB91bB3JLp30A6VTxV9_WXEQ/s320/dw-link.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5452250262069943874" border="0" /></a><br /><img src="file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/Sam/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot-1.png" alt="" /><br /><br />Maestro: Similar to the DW-link and some say it's a patent infringement. It's Giants system and it's really sweet<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-P-6aB5kbhHd1RIMi7fW8kMC0LFSm782ksVb1zLkKWFnLeH44uwo8D4S2tZVzWNgFKbqQpkI5R86y4kRw51XhvNWyrveN1avY-4HNExji9A1TQUT5mED4BtKKV4rMf4aT02Iz6_oPxw/s1600/maestro.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 252px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-P-6aB5kbhHd1RIMi7fW8kMC0LFSm782ksVb1zLkKWFnLeH44uwo8D4S2tZVzWNgFKbqQpkI5R86y4kRw51XhvNWyrveN1avY-4HNExji9A1TQUT5mED4BtKKV4rMf4aT02Iz6_oPxw/s320/maestro.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5452250575690732226" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />VPP: Virtual Pivot Point. Used on Santa Cruz and Intense. A really good system as well.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo922NjMPU33f5CYdSJ2-yBabvh1KvB8q-RNWBHOq01XZBNzTmkHzolDGZCZg9cy4Z042_YFOvLKoNOsFzfsLAhMulw-2_CiClSfPeRzwNN6eyWj73rbg_sLejgk5uihyphenhyphenz1LScrAFdMQ/s1600/vpp.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 254px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo922NjMPU33f5CYdSJ2-yBabvh1KvB8q-RNWBHOq01XZBNzTmkHzolDGZCZg9cy4Z042_YFOvLKoNOsFzfsLAhMulw-2_CiClSfPeRzwNN6eyWj73rbg_sLejgk5uihyphenhyphenz1LScrAFdMQ/s320/vpp.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5452251256785413266" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />ABP: Active Braking Pivot. Developed by Trek/Fisher and used on both bikes.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirgMNwiVC7VdRuDwQqsseFARONrsNBBsz7iPclDlUQihHAbHjpj-uJKVHxGrx1HxRDFIM9wXrBeA7YR1s1WPWJHMB4KK-bJEu3Mp1gxRpBwahT0PmjyfhLY4u3rivSpk9wTN6zQNPEXA/s1600/trekabp.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 298px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirgMNwiVC7VdRuDwQqsseFARONrsNBBsz7iPclDlUQihHAbHjpj-uJKVHxGrx1HxRDFIM9wXrBeA7YR1s1WPWJHMB4KK-bJEu3Mp1gxRpBwahT0PmjyfhLY4u3rivSpk9wTN6zQNPEXA/s320/trekabp.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5452251501677288146" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />Horst Link: This is a Specialized patent with a pivot point below the rear axle and has set the bar for full suspension for many years.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoaGDQHB9z2_gr5h0GaT1JdhNfx20ftN_1xtktYFXUG_mgSLrWDijyCs79VDiioD7zMW6ik1xiNhuYVMfVbmApV49ChyphenhyphenrTMCxiuI6wUOrFoe3-1h_MKVi0DcqV72S3mMYBYQnueXSHmQ/s1600/horstlink.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoaGDQHB9z2_gr5h0GaT1JdhNfx20ftN_1xtktYFXUG_mgSLrWDijyCs79VDiioD7zMW6ik1xiNhuYVMfVbmApV49ChyphenhyphenrTMCxiuI6wUOrFoe3-1h_MKVi0DcqV72S3mMYBYQnueXSHmQ/s320/horstlink.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5452251731113742770" border="0" /></a><br />Felt Equlink: I think this is similar to a dual linkage system like DW or VPP but with a fifth bar added. It looks really complicated<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOqPQTpQ-c-P9spJF2PucCSk93iK4H6er4VuEgXnjWjlZL286XmMGNCPergli_pKtOWV5B-Xh5UAaIv-riwim2_eI6khM_q4mrgkHDJOFMECY1wTgmQRj-WeQZyEFKcydT0MGFFU2E3Q/s1600/felt_equilink_link_hi.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 199px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOqPQTpQ-c-P9spJF2PucCSk93iK4H6er4VuEgXnjWjlZL286XmMGNCPergli_pKtOWV5B-Xh5UAaIv-riwim2_eI6khM_q4mrgkHDJOFMECY1wTgmQRj-WeQZyEFKcydT0MGFFU2E3Q/s320/felt_equilink_link_hi.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5452251988672514978" border="0" /></a><br />4 Bar: Kona uses the four bar system, but many other systems are considered four bar.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiezMt9Ye3H-sheWTUTz8VV1Fl-vTTSht4YT9-OvCtZIXbXl3GJSwV3EFKWzsvSTx-Crzq2fTSuNr8yrmBIrXI4kpFv3Gb7CrFPDeqeql6EF9FMs_7-5X5JzNHkobeR_eMTVeY2OrwONw/s1600/fourbar.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 244px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiezMt9Ye3H-sheWTUTz8VV1Fl-vTTSht4YT9-OvCtZIXbXl3GJSwV3EFKWzsvSTx-Crzq2fTSuNr8yrmBIrXI4kpFv3Gb7CrFPDeqeql6EF9FMs_7-5X5JzNHkobeR_eMTVeY2OrwONw/s320/fourbar.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5452252716493383266" border="0" /></a><br />Magic Link: Kona's new system, I don't know much about it yet.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKtnP9LQoqS2RKTUlVeHnIUmVULsGkyyAQcojgSOGP4GPGwQHMKbaZC9EA2BSCVIRW7rkfifVLA9ZiWpaAAx_sCu8AlDb9yYKffCTrOynCfFR5m8Mrn1zUgIiTjSyx87GFG94t-WS2Xw/s1600/majic+link.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKtnP9LQoqS2RKTUlVeHnIUmVULsGkyyAQcojgSOGP4GPGwQHMKbaZC9EA2BSCVIRW7rkfifVLA9ZiWpaAAx_sCu8AlDb9yYKffCTrOynCfFR5m8Mrn1zUgIiTjSyx87GFG94t-WS2Xw/s320/majic+link.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5452252968064317906" border="0" /></a><br /><br />ETSX: Rocky Mountain's rendition of the Horst Link with the pivot moved slightly above the rear axle to avoid paying royalties to Specialized<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2JjQRqV4NVCwHoZUBo-SotSQpe0fuv6kfLA4VM0wENTjreOSW6oeBhvISvlNFTNQBft9qwz3aWwnU3RAnoBF9tHpvF75VWXDfdJj5p5rzg97tYdY7HRyT6chg6EkMvCZyfSiQbJ-kuQ/s1600/etsx+pivot.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 210px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2JjQRqV4NVCwHoZUBo-SotSQpe0fuv6kfLA4VM0wENTjreOSW6oeBhvISvlNFTNQBft9qwz3aWwnU3RAnoBF9tHpvF75VWXDfdJj5p5rzg97tYdY7HRyT6chg6EkMvCZyfSiQbJ-kuQ/s320/etsx+pivot.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5452253158291980466" border="0" /></a><br />Single pivot: The original and when executed correctly, can be as good as any of the others. Cannondale still uses single pivot, and Trek's design is basically a single pivot with the ABP<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkau0S4crRVjq5KJY0I7BD8jZQ88-wh_LmnL5ZyymU4FJAfWJ7CpDvADH6ZMxLQrJWKDnC_2FVNyb6-r6eWsRAXSlpmDFgXw9Tmovcq-lM5bj3KL_iV5n1tuw25zPpaLqQg-3YR4J-og/s1600/single+pivot.png"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkau0S4crRVjq5KJY0I7BD8jZQ88-wh_LmnL5ZyymU4FJAfWJ7CpDvADH6ZMxLQrJWKDnC_2FVNyb6-r6eWsRAXSlpmDFgXw9Tmovcq-lM5bj3KL_iV5n1tuw25zPpaLqQg-3YR4J-og/s320/single+pivot.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5452253394280112418" border="0" /></a><br /><br />As you can see things get confusing quickly. After extensive research I think the best system is the DW-Link but finding a bike with this system at a $2500 dollar price point is proving very difficult. Anyone with any sugestions or personal experience should pipe up. There are very few deals here in Jackson and Jamie wants a bike for Moab in three weeks.<br /><br />Doug "Full Suspension" DaleDoug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657043596035188256.post-62527153751013467062010-02-18T12:41:00.000-08:002010-02-19T05:45:06.832-08:00Vertical update, hair between the toes, and quinoaHowdy again from Jackson Hole. I'm overdue for an update but that's nothing new.<br /><br />Lets start with the vertical challenge update:<br /><br />I talked with Pippo the other day and he is destroying the field with 25 trips to the top of biggie, a.k.a 55,000 leg ripping vert. Pippo 2.0 is getting fit<br /><br />Horan skied with Jensen at Stevens pass last weekend so I'll estimate his weekend vert at 7,ooo which brings his winter total to 7,018( It's six vertical feet to the washer in the basement of 904 Monroe and I'm guessing Horan has done laundry three times this winter).<br /><br />I'm trailing a bit with a winter total just shy of 26,000. I have lots of spring skiing to do in March so that number better start to grow or else I'm not going to be very fit for my 2010 comeback<br /><br />Who else is climbing up mountains? Shaun? Brice and Ice?<br /><br />Jackson Living Update:<br /><br />The harsh reality of the recession has been a brutal wake up call. A summer of recession landscaping and doing jobs for pennies over cost and now working petty wages as a rental tech has strained my bank account. Out of necessity rather than choice I've compiled a wants and needs list.<br />What's out:<br />Booze-too expensive<br />Limit my Double Americano's-Drip coffee tastes almost as good and is half the price<br />Driving to work-Jackson has a great bus system<br />Prepared food- Jamie's homemade food tastes better<br />Eliminated almost everything I don't need to survive<br /><br />What's in:<br />Quinoa-tastes better than rice, better for you, I'm a big fan<br />Bulk Food-Way cheaper, takes longer to cook but better for you and less packaging<br />Reusing plastic bags: We've been re-using them to pick up dog shit and as garbage bags<br />Not wasting any food: Hardly a morsel of edible food finds its way to the trash.<br /><br />Conclusion: With a little care you can live really well on very little money. New Doug is going to live below his means. If America is ever going to get out of the hole we've dug ourselves I think everyone needs a want/needs list. More on this in a later post.<br /><br />Other interesting news:<br /><br />Groomer is adapting to the cold of Jackson. She is growing lots of hair between her toes/pads. I noticed she was lifting her paws a bunch and having trouble with the cold in January but now after a bunch of walks and a few trips up Teton pass her paws have gotten very furry and she no longer seems to notice the cold. Thankfully Jamie hasn't started growing hair between her toes.<br /><br /><span style="text-decoration: underline;"></span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_zQd6v2paELkKpzHlvcq_ccL8_Zb4yWeeJaNJujNIVacBCai7TjLiACKVRNqwE-X0idc2zdBjWQH69oehOTvAeW3mBg4CELEyv58qyLwyXXGJXsZIJNsT24qluaAJjMsoXxhC1NPZjA/s1600-h/groomerpaw.JPG"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_zQd6v2paELkKpzHlvcq_ccL8_Zb4yWeeJaNJujNIVacBCai7TjLiACKVRNqwE-X0idc2zdBjWQH69oehOTvAeW3mBg4CELEyv58qyLwyXXGJXsZIJNsT24qluaAJjMsoXxhC1NPZjA/s320/groomerpaw.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439840124751076290" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />If Groomer can adapt to her environment in a matter of months I can't imagine what my descendants will look like and act like a few generations from now. Are my ape like features and ancient saggital crest no longer needed in modern society? Will the proper happenings of evolution weed out my deep eye sockets? I sure hope not. Oh well, until then you're all stuck with this.....<br /><br /><br /><br /> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjEVD19vj2jZ9UJI65N_q8dAmRkKzKRWtZkhhmRjShoKcF20PN8z1cxo1RKjieSHBoREcObnwZl_8_w-AiZBLyb3jatn4wIcsgHe3tN4tzPfk6xb4-0hretzFWciYezjwxFlfL8tJtmQ/s1600-h/doug2.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjEVD19vj2jZ9UJI65N_q8dAmRkKzKRWtZkhhmRjShoKcF20PN8z1cxo1RKjieSHBoREcObnwZl_8_w-AiZBLyb3jatn4wIcsgHe3tN4tzPfk6xb4-0hretzFWciYezjwxFlfL8tJtmQ/s320/doug2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439845244882217506" border="0" /></a><br /><br /> <br /><img src="file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/Sam/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot.png" alt="" /><br />DaleDoug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657043596035188256.post-74728074872364378342010-01-28T09:23:00.000-08:002010-01-28T11:39:28.699-08:00Vertical Challange: First to 100K wins<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8Wrjc-axAn891q8Jqn76HohHmE-62RUkuC-l9e67RsgzPkldMge4J21FVgvCFvjZ3uqxcNQkIRXrPwsz3Mo2KUOrtEiHnRNdpPx7PDwU9ut44N_oVroejN6YyvcViL2qL8B8-vmhPNQ/s1600-h/grommerbiting.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8Wrjc-axAn891q8Jqn76HohHmE-62RUkuC-l9e67RsgzPkldMge4J21FVgvCFvjZ3uqxcNQkIRXrPwsz3Mo2KUOrtEiHnRNdpPx7PDwU9ut44N_oVroejN6YyvcViL2qL8B8-vmhPNQ/s320/grommerbiting.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5431876323718902626" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Here is the Challenge: First man or woman to climb 1oo,000 feet wins. Pippo has skinned up biggie 6 times @2,200ft/time giving him 13,200 ft so far. I've done Teton Pass 4 times @ 1,200ft/time, Snowking 2 times @1,550ft/time, and the randonnee race at Targhee @5000ft giving me 12,9000 ft. I think we should include the cycling house crew and all their trips up Mt. Lemon. I would like to keep cycling a separate category from running, skinning, hiking, but if you have a way to document elevation gain with a powertap or GPS on a ride by all means include it in the cycling category. The deadline in April 1st. I think this is a very achievable goal and many will probably surpass it. Everything is on the honor system, don't be a lame ass and pad your numbers. If you need a way to measure elevation gain on a run or ski I'm sure we all know a couple of dorks who own those fancy watches. My guess is Brice and Ice start running Jumbo in the mornings and Pippo goes ski crazy and crushes Biggie five days a week. Horan will hike jumbo once, Joel will continue with his 20 minute runs and Shaun and Toby will climb 30K on nordic this winter. I'll be lucky to see 100K by April. As for the cycling house crew, we could see some big numbers from them. Parsens and Mulfield are in a different group because I bet they have already put in 100K this winter, but I want to know their total numbers. Send your numbers to me and if this gets big enough we might have to start a continuously updated vertical chart.<br /><br />Ski,Hike,Run Category<br /><br />Pippo 13.2K<br />Dale 12.9K<br /><br />Cycling Category<br />TCH Crew?Doug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657043596035188256.post-10021175124247006612009-12-13T19:18:00.000-08:002009-12-13T19:30:00.708-08:00It's looking a bit like Christmas<ul style="text-align: left;"><li>If finally snowed in Jackson. Quite a lot actually. 18 inches this morning and there looks to be more on the way. I've been working a bunch and the skiing is still abysmal so you'll have to wait awhile for reports. I did nordic ski up at Targhee on Friday and had a jolly time. If you have not skate skied at -20 with a poorly groomed track at 8000ft you haven't really lived. I made it 8k then though my lungs were going to prolapse out my mouth. Oscar 50K is going to be a real challenge if I keep training as little as I've been. Tourist are starting to move in and it looks to be a busy season. I just hope the folks from Jersey stay out east, they tend to be quite rude. No offense if you're from jersey, I'd be mad if I lived there too. That's all for now folks.</li></ul><br />DaleDoug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657043596035188256.post-68953241334157591072009-12-07T19:17:00.000-08:002009-12-07T20:02:32.956-08:00First update in nine monthsDear loyal readers (If I still have any?). It has been awhile since my last update. It seems in the summer there is too much to do and I'm with most of my readers so there is no need to write. I think from here on out I'll keep this a winter blog. <br /><br />For those new to the blog a quick history lesson on the name "Old Man Coffee Chronicles." During the abnormally rainy month of June 2008 a group of aspiring entrepreneurs started meeting at the break espresso every morning to wait out the rain. As we grew in size we noticed the old men sitting at tables next to us. They would talk about the weather, their wives, and future plans. We found ourselves talking about the same things as the old men sitting around us. Before long we named the morning meetings "Old Man Coffee." "Old Man Coffee Chronicles" is just an online version of "Old Man Coffee" where anyone can talk about the weather, future plans, and noteworthy events of the day. I encourage anyone to send me posts and I will post them. As always, no subject is too crass or offensive for OMCC!<br /><br />An update on Doug Dale:<br /><br />As many of you know I left the great community of Missoula last week for my new wintering grounds in Jackson Hole Wyoming. Having spent my last two winters in the mountains of Colorado, Jackson has been quite a change. The first thing I noticed is the bone chilling cold. This place is an ice box! Wild Rockies Landscaping 1 (my 96 powerstroke diesel) has had a tough time adjusting. Every morning her 16 quarts of 15W-40 is frozen in the oil pan and she spits and sputters to life just pissed off as hell. Twice she's left me stranded at the ski area after a long day's work. I wonder if the ol' powerstroke makes it through the winter? Having a real job with real hours has been the second big adjustment. At Wild Rockies my hours fluctuate with the season, but here at the ski shop we rent skis day in and day out, all day long. It's a bit monotonous but once the season picks up I can see it will get quite hectic and should be quite exciting. That's all for now but I'll have much more in the near future.<br /><br />Doug DaleDoug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657043596035188256.post-54921197975666502282009-03-25T22:38:00.000-07:002009-03-26T08:18:08.620-07:00Adam hits the stupid button..........and crashes<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUMTJRQKk1H52WsfetDAtEAoXrMGsFf6Q9CoKgcI1kS2F1LRwWXecWEC_C0Y6cB7QONansbmlgdYFmjlRbPEMQHHWO59OJpTa4Xa8e3vjz06851xiwT82V6CuZMmfEMss809HBuA_apQ/s1600-h/topofmountain.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5317380111598976546" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUMTJRQKk1H52WsfetDAtEAoXrMGsFf6Q9CoKgcI1kS2F1LRwWXecWEC_C0Y6cB7QONansbmlgdYFmjlRbPEMQHHWO59OJpTa4Xa8e3vjz06851xiwT82V6CuZMmfEMss809HBuA_apQ/s320/topofmountain.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnoOApjaslOwyMV-TJ4fA4JbYHMePXZBotcTzAlNHNGH7RIq4UNSW1GP_cllDKY0SBnmcL-hEOj-zUXwiqngbIYZAR5ujB61HAxJJA4RGpMuoA2UjjDjUTh_b7BLraUvB8GbXClyeeYA/s1600-h/adaminjured.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5317378492357251234" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnoOApjaslOwyMV-TJ4fA4JbYHMePXZBotcTzAlNHNGH7RIq4UNSW1GP_cllDKY0SBnmcL-hEOj-zUXwiqngbIYZAR5ujB61HAxJJA4RGpMuoA2UjjDjUTh_b7BLraUvB8GbXClyeeYA/s320/adaminjured.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div>It's day three of the Doug and Adam ride all of California trip. Turns out I'm in awful shape and it's making Adam kind of grumpy. Adam's mood is directly correlated to his heart rate and apparently I haven't been riding fast enough to get his heart rate up. In his defense I'm riding really slow, almost embarrassingly so. </div><br /><div>We're currently squatting at a buddies house in San Luis Obispo, which is a richer warmer version of Missoula that has traded skiing for surfing............this place rocks. Mountain biking along the coast of California has been quite a treat. Santa Cruz offers butter soft single track with large hips and stunts integrated into the trail, while San Luis is more exposed and rocky; think 100 Mt. Jumbo's in every direction, all lush and green, and you'll get the idea.</div><div> </div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div>Today we met with a British fellow who offered to show us some local trail. The top of our first climb left us with two options: 1) Go down the fire road we had just climbed or 2) Blast down some super hair ball rocky single track/erosion path to the fire road below. Of course only a fool would descend the fire road so we pointed the ridgid 29ers down the sketchy path and held on. About half way down I started to lose control and hit a rock all cattywhompis, sending me into the brush. Not two seconds later Adam comes blazing by me, bouncing around like a rag doll. Anyone who knows Adam knows he can climb like a homesick angle. Unfortunately his descending prowess is akin to molasses in the freezer. To say I was surprised would be an understatement and as I watched him get close to the fire road all I could think is either he just got really really good at descending or he's completely out of control. As the last three feet of trail dropped straight vertical to the road it became apparent the latter was true. It's an awful sight to see someone go from 25mph to 0 in two feet, and watching it happen on a road full of football sized boulders only heightened the experience. Adam hit the road with such force that it cracked his helmet in two and made mince meet of his left arm and hip. I'm really surprised he got up and that neither he nor his bike suffered any catastrophic injuries. This is a warning to all of you out there, even the most calculated careful people a.k.a Adam Jensen, can be influenced by the primitive subconscious powers of the stupid button and fling themselves down a rocky slope for no apparent reason. There is no explanation for a man who normally descends in total control to suddenly try some Wade Simmons shit down a trail no ridged bike has any right to be on, let alone at the foolish speeds he was hitting. It just goes to show the stupid things men will do if given a goofy contraption (bike) and a steep hill. Personally, I'm kind of glad he fell because now he's really sore and has something other than my slow ascending to complain about.</div><div></div><div>Doug Dale</div></div>Doug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657043596035188256.post-28469153813751309972009-03-19T23:31:00.000-07:002009-03-19T23:53:44.484-07:00Timmy Tuck Under<em>Often I hear a term I'm not familier with and have to look it up on Urban Dictionary. I heard this on the streets of Santa Cruz today</em><br /><br />Timmy Tuck Under<br /><br />A recommended way to deal with a NARB (no apparent reason boner) that won't go away. Tuck your hard on up under your belt and tighten down. If you don't have a belt, tighten your draw string. The NARB is most prevelant during a male's middleschool years. DO NOT USE this method if you aren't wearing a shirt......use the larry lash down instead.<br /><br />Ex. Little Jimmy got a narb in geometry class and had to perform a covert timmy tuck under so his classmates wouldn't see.Doug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657043596035188256.post-22727967142781813862009-03-18T17:51:00.000-07:002009-03-18T19:09:33.402-07:00West Coast GooferyI've been completely absent from the blog for no good reason. I take that back, i've been too busy skiing and surfing. Since the last installment of foolishness a lot has happened. Currently we are getting pounded into the ocean floor by waves too gnarly for novice goofs like us to be dicking around on, but oh well. Our accommodations consist of squatting in a friends back yard in Santa Cruz, CA. I picked up a mangy spring break traveler by the name of Ben Ruffatto complete with 20 stitches in his hamstring from a recent fall down some cliffs at bridger bowl. Funny story about those stitches; I had a bad sunburn yesterday and what else does the dingbat do but slap my back as hard as he could. In a rage of furry I retaliated with a roundhouse kick to his leg. He keeled over howling in pain and I realized I nailed him square in the stitches. Five minutes later he realized that if a swift kick in the leg couldn't open up the wound then he must be good to surf. I should start kicking people in their stitches more often.<br /><br />Current injury report<br /><br />Matt Johns: Fell biking home drunk from the bars last night decked out in st. patties green. Landed on his shoulder and head and thinks he may have a broken collar bone. <br />Treatment: Took a bunch of pain killers and tried to surf. Made it worse<br /><br />Doug Dale: Reinjured a dormant shoulder injury having a snowball fight with some kids at Mt. Rose. A combination of surfing and beach volleyball has exasterbated it to the point where I can't paddle the board very well or spike the volleyball.<br />Treatment: I'll worry about it when I get back to missoula<br /><br />Weasel: Sore from being a pussy.<br />Treatment: Nutting up<br /><br />Ben Ruffatto: Twenty some stitches from a nasty fall at bridger bowl.<br />Treatment: Neosporin and a lot of surfing and beach volleyball. Good chance they will open up before the end of the trip<br /><br />The end of our roadtrip adventure is near and it will be nice to be settled in Missoula for a bit. It looks like matty ice (i think that's his new name) is dominating the TTTT..........what a gnarly human specimen/lady magnet. I hope the team doesn't prematurely ejaculate and burn out by MTB season. We skied squaw last weekend and it was seventy degrees and sunny. The lovely Terry's made the trip from Missoula and we spent half the day skiing sketchy slush and the other half drinking corona's on the patio.......it was really fun. <br /><br />Other stupid news<br /><br />Matt Johns got bored one day and built a life sized naked woman out of snow on the porch of the rental property; he continues to be a constant liability. <br /><br />A bear got into the cab of our truck and rummaged around. The sheriff had to get the shotgun out to scare it away. It didn't do any damage. Matt was headed out the door to beat it with a snow shovel but we warned him against such tom foolery.<br /><br />Gabe Karenza is with the team and it's just a matter of time before he does something stupid. <br /><br />I'm meeting up with Adam Jensen next week and he will make me ride five hours a day until I can't turn over one more pedal. He thinks shit like that is fun.<br /><br />Tore my right binding out of my ski at full speed, still not sure how. Later that night I won a rock paper scissors contest at the bar and won a new snowboard........wtf?<br /><br />Weasel got his first vericose vein and freaked out. I have some too. We think they're from sitting too much in the truck but really we have no clue. I don't like them one bit.<br /><br />I could go on and on but I want a nap. I'll have pics soon.<br /><br />Doug Dale and CrewDoug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657043596035188256.post-85860695614099397262009-02-23T12:41:00.000-08:002009-02-23T12:56:13.401-08:00A lot of SnoooooooooooooooowI think this is Eddy's long lost brother. Mick is a true backwoods Vermont dude.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBvJp7PcAtFuX5DfQdE1lUTr_vqdFaiNdWDAf1vHxG_wqTLZ36ODQwpOY1XJUlpNBYmt_8b12EwUnz1v1dpho49vK4YmluQTOPbytvAHNlWJGtw4uo-_NO66bhcTFuHbsfA_L5aVIogg/s1600-h/mick.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5306098269764309154" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBvJp7PcAtFuX5DfQdE1lUTr_vqdFaiNdWDAf1vHxG_wqTLZ36ODQwpOY1XJUlpNBYmt_8b12EwUnz1v1dpho49vK4YmluQTOPbytvAHNlWJGtw4uo-_NO66bhcTFuHbsfA_L5aVIogg/s320/mick.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>I've been skiing world class powder on the east coast..........wtf? It's been snowing so much I haven't had time to do much else. Wi-Fi is about as common in Vermont as a sunny day in January so I'm having a tough time catching up the blog. I'll be in NYC tomorrow so if I don't get mugged I'll catch everyone up on the foolishness of the last week. Word on the street is Adam Jensen likes a girl in Seattle.</div>Doug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657043596035188256.post-74514168417248983652009-02-18T06:20:00.000-08:002009-02-18T07:06:18.714-08:00Mad River Glen VideoI'm too beat up and too whooped to finish a mangy review of Mad River Glen but let me tell ya, this place rocks. We got some serious video time on their website. Ryan Frey a.k.a Weasel is in the yellow jacket and white helmet and the one sliding backwards down the ravine, our Vermont buddy Mick is in the blue jacket and I'm in the red jacket making the occasional tele turn. A shout out to Eric, the marketing director at Mad River. He took the whole day off to show us around and did an amazing job. A full review is coming Thursday evening, going into a backcountry cabin so I won't get it out till then. Click on link then choose the video from Feb 17th called Fast and Firm. Enjoy<br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.madriverglen.com/gallery_public/">http://www.madriverglen.com/gallery_public/</a>Doug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657043596035188256.post-21284595950539553502009-02-13T06:51:00.000-08:002009-02-13T08:13:22.085-08:00The Creepiest Road in America?It's 7:51 a.m and I'm filling my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Kum</span> & Go travel mug at Tuckers Box Coffee house in White River Junction, New Hampshire. They serve quite a good cup of drip courtesy of the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">quirky</span> Vermont hippies who must run Green Mountain Roasters. The stiff cup along with a beautiful sunrise is quickly pulling me from the dour state I've been in since leaving Chicago and crossing through the first toll on the I80/90 toll road that runs east west from Chicago to somewhere in NY. I drove this <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">stretch</span> last year and experienced the same emotions. When you cross through the first booth you take a ticket and in return for access you give up your freedom and enter into a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">controlled</span> and characterless world of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">claustrophobia</span>. There is no private enterprise along the six hundred mile <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">stretch</span>, only an <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">occasional</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">state owned</span> gas and rest area every <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">forty</span> to sixty miles. These state owned rest and refueling areas allow a few fast food corporations to conduct business within their feeding compounds, though <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">every time</span> I walked through one every vendor was shut up tight. There were hundreds of wary travelers pacing around the tiled great room, waiting in line to drink out of the turbid water <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">fountain</span> like <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">strung out</span> zombies. The gas pumps have no attendant controlling them, it's card only. What if a man only has cash and is running low on fossilised dinosaur? From what I can tell, this poor man is out of luck, for the next possible exit is most likely twenty miles away. On his quest for a gas station that will take cash he will drive under ten or twenty overpasses with cars and life on them but he will have no way to access them. There are very few ways to get out of the the toll road bubble and it's <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">frustrating</span> because life and freedom is literally a stones throw away. In Nebraska we got off the interstate, drove to a small town and took a run. In Iowa we did the same. Both places have a unique character, different that what <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">I'm</span> used to but still character. Looking back I don't have any idea what states I drove through yesturday. I think they were Illinois, Ohio, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Pennsylvania</span>, and New York, but how would I know. For ten hours I hardly saw a town as the sides of the road are built up quite high as to make sure no one sees what's beyond their <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">boundaries</span>. For ten hours I pointed the diesel east on a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">highly</span> efficient transport system and now looking back I feel like I missed out on a whole section of country. And what do I get at the end of this transport portal? A $38 toll fee! I pulled off at the first exit and saw a sign that read, "free coffee with fill up." I jumped at the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">opportunity</span>, topped off the truck and stumbled into the fill station. A nice, plump, mostly toothless attendant filled my cup and asked me in a strong eastern accent where I had come from. I told her I had been driving the 80/90 toll road all night and she smiled and laughed, "you look a little tired, most are by the time they get here." I think <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">I'll</span> take I70 on the way home. I look forward to having the option to exit the interstate and meet some fine <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">Midwestern</span> folk in the states that were taken from me last night. <br /><br />Doug "haven't slept in 30 hours" DaleDoug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657043596035188256.post-50826798223504451582009-02-12T08:16:00.000-08:002009-02-12T08:31:02.664-08:00Great American Road Trip<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Hello</span> from the windy city. True fact, it's so damn windy and bitter cold here. I'm honored to be in the hometown of the great Joel Brown, Elliot <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Bassette</span>, and of course, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Horan</span>. The great <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">American</span> road trip has begun. There are three of us in the F350; weasel, his girlfriend and me, the squeaky third wheel. Our first stop will be <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Killington</span> Vermont where we will round up a gaggle of mangy east coast grunions. For now the foolishness has subsided, but I can <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">guarantee</span> you <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">something</span> stupid will happen <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">upon</span> our arrival. Till then I hope dearly that the rumors I've heard about the UM Cycling team riding hard in Early Feb training rides is false. I will be one angry ape if I return to a bunch of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">flaccid</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">prematurely</span> ejaculated riders who are <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">already</span> burnt out for the season. Take a lesson from our good buddy <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Horan</span>.<br /><br />DaleDoug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657043596035188256.post-82031818666215751362009-02-09T15:51:00.000-08:002009-02-09T18:23:02.858-08:00Telluride: Dumber Than a Pencil With Two Erasers<em>Disclaimer: What you are about to read is true, possibly offensive and could be a bit funny. It was <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">co written</span> on our drive home from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Telluride</span></span> in the middle of a blizzard. Enjoy</em><br /><br /><br />Palmyra Peak. We skied the far left chute<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifM89vrr_YGqbheJ3GKOuyHLuMnc641JSsNoHOck7JQM-5xKZEoi3IobGf-B3qYYo4pJinPuaBdvnM4kRu-urY6tKwdgYvqiTk9Gz-kP7dF-9zNWBBv-cKMSP4riGhzXkRcXTfrR1d9w/s1600-h/palmyramountain.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5300975561194713138" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifM89vrr_YGqbheJ3GKOuyHLuMnc641JSsNoHOck7JQM-5xKZEoi3IobGf-B3qYYo4pJinPuaBdvnM4kRu-urY6tKwdgYvqiTk9Gz-kP7dF-9zNWBBv-cKMSP4riGhzXkRcXTfrR1d9w/s320/palmyramountain.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Matt and Me atop Palmyra. 13,300ft</div><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUneJtuzUGFPvT-UYdDklTzzlVjMZwbld5AlNNUpDlVYQqZkkVZYkjCmIpYy566xWxA1YETQV2KlRZqj93LZ1Y0DNkjGxpPlVk3ruhP2a6alk_OBWbmg6XGooMYWg7cZyYTzhfdv0oPA/s1600-h/palmyra.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5300973867049376418" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUneJtuzUGFPvT-UYdDklTzzlVjMZwbld5AlNNUpDlVYQqZkkVZYkjCmIpYy566xWxA1YETQV2KlRZqj93LZ1Y0DNkjGxpPlVk3ruhP2a6alk_OBWbmg6XGooMYWg7cZyYTzhfdv0oPA/s320/palmyra.jpg" border="0" /></a> The bungee catapult apparatus<br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIyfbKGLttmp2fjTlQfWaMaCc1Az3LCUVLzVQMHSa5AeePcVcfOh0iKsh0nn6gVfYI9p47lSkMay-oHrRywih5y8tze5rA78c6AnXxvvTtS_L1O93HRFLhsifHlBsATDJrx4kg3AzS0A/s1600-h/DSC_0765.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5300973524360664610" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 214px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIyfbKGLttmp2fjTlQfWaMaCc1Az3LCUVLzVQMHSa5AeePcVcfOh0iKsh0nn6gVfYI9p47lSkMay-oHrRywih5y8tze5rA78c6AnXxvvTtS_L1O93HRFLhsifHlBsATDJrx4kg3AzS0A/s320/DSC_0765.JPG" border="0" /></a><br />Working on our caveman imitations. Probably had a few beers at this point<br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiglEu4Fw289mp40kdCdUOx_8Q1PXQm8QOGQSBB_bJiku8p0WQjq8ZmJG9ehRp-YGATLispU2Hst1qS8C-OqedMq7F7x7z2EOG1xDEnabRpo4bIgQXGBvMUb-RvXg_MLNhWvsJfo_yKRA/s1600-h/dougcaveman.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5300973132044118354" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiglEu4Fw289mp40kdCdUOx_8Q1PXQm8QOGQSBB_bJiku8p0WQjq8ZmJG9ehRp-YGATLispU2Hst1qS8C-OqedMq7F7x7z2EOG1xDEnabRpo4bIgQXGBvMUb-RvXg_MLNhWvsJfo_yKRA/s320/dougcaveman.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Matt looks more like a baboon<br /><br /><div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjacsl_MwhJSVucKgQOmQze04XevfUCWWEtCTmQMn_G-BaGWnJvmdOUUwcxAuaJEdjvrMjgnhn7bqsFvE1RBJNbau3zXL_7SzpXp2bS6RQ7hT4rFr0YKSz6dwN3QiMOjqn0x8XO34dmg/s1600-h/mattcaveman.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5300972155512427090" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjacsl_MwhJSVucKgQOmQze04XevfUCWWEtCTmQMn_G-BaGWnJvmdOUUwcxAuaJEdjvrMjgnhn7bqsFvE1RBJNbau3zXL_7SzpXp2bS6RQ7hT4rFr0YKSz6dwN3QiMOjqn0x8XO34dmg/s320/mattcaveman.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Telluride</span></span>: Dumber Than A Pencil With Two Erasers</strong><br /><br /><div align="left">To be able to fully immerse yourself in the content of this, one must first understand the anatomy and theory of the “Stupid Button”. A stupid button is a deranged switch of chemical imbalances in the brain, or lack thereof, which few people possess. It’s a Neanderthal trait stemming from the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Sagittal</span></span> Crest which has been weeded out through the correct happenings of evolution. Unfortunately, some morons still possess this crest, embedded in their thick noggins, giving them the prehistoric urge to batter and harvest woolly mammoths and elk with wooden rods or other caveman-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">esq</span></span> utensils. What used to be a tribe’s greatest asset is now one of society’s biggest liabilities. Choices and intelligent decisions are bypassed altogether at a rapid rate and thrown out the window. The real problem does not lie with the mere presence of the stupid button but the ease with which it’s triggered and its ability to completely supersede all rational thought and judgment centers. A completely idiotic idea is pondered for a short period and immediately attempted if not carried out in full. Fuel this <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">pre</span></span>-historic foolishness with alcohol and you have a recipe for disaster that would never be considered for publishing in the Betty <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Crocker</span></span> cookbook.<br /><br />So what are a couple of men to do on a bluebird day in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Telluride</span></span> with their stupid buttons on hair trigger switches? Point your finger at the hairiest looking peak around, do what you gotta do to get up it, punch the stupid button and find the stupidest way down in the fastest way possible with no regard for the well being of your body.<br /><br />With no snow in the last three weeks, conditions were less than optimal on day one and it <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">didn</span></span>’t take long to find ourselves bored to death with everyday runs. Access to Palmyra Peak had recently been opened to clowns who wanted to further push the thresholds of their personal limits and their time on earth. The summit is only a quick 2 hour boot pack from the top of the Prospect lift up steep steps of bullet-proof ice, scree-fields and rock. The 2 hr estimate assumes an average experienced hiker taking on the challenge in ski boots. Haggard enough to turn away most people, the two of us had a jolly laugh. “Let’s go, it’ll probably only take us 20 minutes anyways and I’m sick of the rest of this terrain.” We pointed our ambitions towards a rock outcropping at the summit resembling a Budweiser Clydesdale’s genitalia. We trucked straight up hill for about 50 minutes before the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">rarified</span></span> air at 13,300 feet started to take its toll on our already walloped, hung-over bodies. We began to realize the seriousness of this asinine decision. The last 150 feet of treacherous hell was completed thinking of the reward that would be handed down to us upon <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">summiting</span></span>. We reached the top an hour and ten minutes after pondering this stupid idea of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">skulduggery</span>. It was worth every calf-cramping step. With the amazing 14,000+ foot peaks of Mt. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Snefles</span></span> to the east and Mt. Wilson and El <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Diente</span></span> to the west, we were caught standing in awe with our jaws dropped like a couple of dumb heifers. After a few pics and some cave-ape taking 20 minutes to lock into his <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">tele</span></span>-bindings, we started our decent. Nothing puckers up a sphincter like straight-lining a 45 degree chute full of shin-deep blower and rock patches scattered about with the intent of ripping you up like a cheese grater. An eternity to get up, 30 seconds of ridiculous tomfoolery to get down. Down is where we ran into our only issue. I hopped a small patch of harmless rocks only to be caught too far forward, landing in deep wind-blown crust and flipped like a rag doll bouncing off my head and landing in a mangled heap in the same position I came into the world, fetal. Here’s a shout-out to helmets, there is now a golf-ball sized dent in the front of my lid. How was I rewarded for that display of horsing around? Some <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Cro</span></span>-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Magnon</span></span> ape comes up behind me, doubled over laughing like a drunken donkey. Palmyra Peak, cross it off the to-do list and go have a few frosty brews at Poachers Pub.<br /><br />Day three found us in our most decrepit state of the trip, reeking like a distillery from a rowdy night out on the town that saw Dale causing a ruckus everywhere he went and Matt chasing war-pig cougars. We happened to run into another caveman from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Missoula</span></span> who was in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">Telluride</span></span> doing <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">Nordica</span></span> Ski demos. For some ill-festooned reason, we thought it would be a great idea to lock our heels onto some race-bred Jet Fuel and Afterburner skis. The stupid button <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">wasn</span></span>’t pressed in this situation; it was nailed down by a fat, bald <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">carnie</span></span> in a striped leotard going for the giant stuffed panda. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">Telluride</span></span>’s front side has some of the steepest, iciest, north facing groomers anyone could imagine pointing their skis down. Naturally the decision to tackle these runs on skis we were not familiar with was immediately bypassed faster than a famished bear puts a fish in his mouth.<br /><br />We trekked to the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">blackdiamond</span></span> groomer Milk Run for our first attempt. The 170cm <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">Nordica</span></span> GS skis underfoot felt more like <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">snowblades</span></span> and we looked at each other with stupid grins. I let out a primitive grunt, pushed off and was immediately forced into the backseat as my speed rapidly pushed deep into the red. As I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">began</span> to lay the Jet Fuel’s on edge I was blown away; those <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">Nordica</span></span>’s edge better than a razor on fresh foliage. For a split second my judgement center took over and the realization hit me that should I lose it at this speed, serious body <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">mangilation</span></span> would occur and most likely parts of me would end up in a stretcher. The stupid button realized it had let another part of my brain function and immediately incapacitated the judgment center with a massive blow of adrenalin. I looked up just in time to see Matt balancing precariously on the back 5cm of his inside edge at speeds that would get you arrested on most highways. Having already put a massive dent in his helmet the day before on Palmyra peak, I was sure this awful looking flamingo balancing act would end up in the trees and give that lonely dent a sibling. His primal instincts must have taken over and somehow the baboon recovered and immediately proceeded to do something even dumber. The upcoming slope ended with a 90 degree boilerplate turn onto a cat track. Suddenly Matt comes flying by at unconscionable speeds, realizes his boneheaded error, tries to cut in early, skis chattering like a couple of chipmunks as he desperately tries to scrub speed and then drops a good ten feet onto a glare ice cat track still going mach 5. Somehow the stupid dingbat was fine. Runs two, three and four played out in much the same manner. So there you have it, a weekend in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27">Telluride</span></span> with the stupid button nailed down the majority of the time.<br /><br />One more ridiculous thing to comment on. I strapped into one of those goofy dangling bungee medieval catapult apparatuses that kids normally get on. They’re fun but if you’re a male and want to reproduce later in life I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_29"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28">wouldn</span></span>’t recommend trying one more than once. Till next time that’s all we have.<br /><br />Matt “dumber than a bucket of shrimp” Johns<br />Doug “dumber than a bucket of wet mice” Dale </div></div></div></div></div>Doug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657043596035188256.post-42103926544248002832009-02-09T08:18:00.000-08:002009-02-09T08:36:52.140-08:00Quote of the DayMy good buddy Chris Connelly has been using this one for a long time. Usually he does something stupid and gets away with it, laughs a bit, and then says, "Even a blind squirrel finds and acorn once in awhile." <br /><br />Matt Johns and I have a doozy of a weekend recap on the way, just waiting for picsDoug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657043596035188256.post-81947896809463059072009-02-04T13:10:00.000-08:002009-02-04T14:12:03.501-08:00Jethro Tule<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq4QvMn-E1i-cJKBX6LSSL9i3J6fDVixUKqfmkk-u-4MVVv-xmroOICe6s35HESB5fvpNBN1ZFlbMcPHaRj3Voj7JFn1_KeJ0CmVl5mbIiieS8AnZIges28VtY-c9kVsVa0vt3JhoEHQ/s1600-h/jethrotule.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5299067424728378642" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 131px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhq4QvMn-E1i-cJKBX6LSSL9i3J6fDVixUKqfmkk-u-4MVVv-xmroOICe6s35HESB5fvpNBN1ZFlbMcPHaRj3Voj7JFn1_KeJ0CmVl5mbIiieS8AnZIges28VtY-c9kVsVa0vt3JhoEHQ/s320/jethrotule.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>I just got back from lunch in Avon, CO, my temporary home. So here I am sitting on the deck of the Loaded Joe's coffee/pub soaking up some CO sun and sipping on a tasty double americano when a dude rolls up on a beater single speed commuter. He seemed a bit disgruntled and I noticed his chain was very loose. "What happened to your whip" I asked. "Dude, my rear hub nut things came loose, do you have a wrench bro." "No bro-bra, but in case you're not privy to rear hub nut thing sizing, what you'll need is a 15mm dude." The dude said thanks and moved along his way. After the amusing encounter I reminisced to my early days of single speeding before the advent of quick release compatible sliding reardroppouts. When our horizontal dropout redline monocog posse would go ride someone would always have to bring a 15mm craftsman open-end wrench in case of hub nut thing slippage or a flat. I remember always lusting for a Surly product called the Jethro Tule; a stubby unit with a 15mm wrench on one end and a bottle opener on the other. It fits in your back pouch and in traditional Surly tradition it's built like a tank. So for all you surly, mangy, hairy chested, beer swilling, unkept single speed bro bra dudes, I highly recommend the Jethro Tule. And after you finish with the business end, flip that bitch over and pop a beer with the party end. </div>Doug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657043596035188256.post-8155676625629361962009-02-02T11:05:00.000-08:002009-02-02T11:07:02.088-08:00Hard at Work<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghgk_bfp_USHKvQ8wrWQtjpyW6ESs_0AXCuGpieVSbsBHjCtZDdxW0PlxJ9PxtNXh7SrZ5fAf7de3U48_K2bfSPyTyZEvP2pVNtP3VUjF0bJDBCeEL24DxSclazuFUjQjaltg1_u3Ilw/s1600-h/cropped%5B1%5D.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5298278543154277650" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 183px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghgk_bfp_USHKvQ8wrWQtjpyW6ESs_0AXCuGpieVSbsBHjCtZDdxW0PlxJ9PxtNXh7SrZ5fAf7de3U48_K2bfSPyTyZEvP2pVNtP3VUjF0bJDBCeEL24DxSclazuFUjQjaltg1_u3Ilw/s320/cropped%5B1%5D.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>Doug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657043596035188256.post-78975535846894655372009-02-02T09:53:00.000-08:002009-02-02T09:54:55.205-08:00The Potent HeronitoLet me tell you a thing or two about a thing or two. Never drink a stiff cup of drip infused with three shots of espresso. It all started the morning of Jan 14th 2009 at Winter Park Colorado. My buddy Matt and I were having a heady organic breakfast burrito in the Coffee and Tea Market when he pointed out a drink option scribbled in chalk toward the bottom of the espresso menu. It read HERONITO……Espresso Infused Coffee. Of course anything that sounds a bit ridiculous catches my attention and my curiosity got the best of me on this one. I walked up to the counter and a dreaded out little stoner girl sloooowwwwllllllyyyyy asked me what I wanted. “I would like the strongest Heronito please.” She replied, “reeeeeaaaallllyyyyy, you know that has three shots of espresso in it. I didn’t actually know this but at this point I didn’t care, I was more curious if she would forget to ring me up or not. She didn’t and five minutes later I was back at the table sipping on 12 ounces of straight diesel fuel. To be precise, a triple shot Heronito is one cup of rich shade grown fair trade Guatemalan super roast enhanced with three shots of espresso. Needless to say, within three minutes of my first sip I stared feeling weird things happening to my body. I started to shake and talk real fast, my legs began to twitch and my sphincter started to dilate. All of a sudden it hit me, “I’M GOING TO SHIT MY PANTS!” I jumped up and ran to the little stoner girl. I must have had a terrified look in my eye. “Is soooommmmmethinnng wrooong sir?” I quickly replied, “I just drank half of the Heronito and I need to find the restroom.” Like the flip of a switch the little stoner girl snapped out of her enlightened state and all brain cells became one functioning unit. “Sir down the hall to your left, run past all the stalls to the last one, it’s the handicap stall with hand rails, you’re going to need them. HURRY SIR YOU DON’T HAVE MUCH TIME! It obviously wasn’t her first experience with the side effects of the Heronito. So I did just that. With the agility of a running back I sprinted, dipped, ducked and dodged my way through the masses to the restroom. At this point details get a bit sketchy, my mind started to go blurry and I blacked out momentarily. When I came to I was washing my hands at the sink, and I remember looking around at the other restroom patrons. It was like everyone in there had seen a ghost, it was eerily quiet and nobody was really moving. I thought nothing of it, finished washing up and headed back to the Coffee and Tea Market. I thanked the little stoner girl for her good directions and went about my day. I walked out knowing I was one of the lucky ones, having narrowly survived an encounter with the potent Heronito.Doug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5657043596035188256.post-18772673127929988702009-01-29T14:22:00.000-08:002009-01-29T14:33:15.759-08:00Can you relate?<em>I just purchased a bike (I know <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">I'm</span> a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">hypocrite</span> but it's an investment in quality of life) and now I have no money to buy coffee so I hope this will suffice. I bet a few of you can relate to these</em><br /><em></em><br />Stages of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Drunkenness</span><br />0 - Stone cold sober. Brain as sharp as an army bayonet.<br />1 - Still sober. Pleasure senses activated. Feeling of well-being.<br />2 - Lager warming up head. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Pretzles</span> are ordered. Barmaid complimented on choice of blouse.<br />3 - Crossword in newspaper is filled in. After a while blanks are filled with random letters and numbers.<br />4 - Barmaid complimented on choice of bra. Partially visible when bending to get packets of crisps. Try to instigate conversation about bras. Order half a dozen packets of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">pretzles</span> one by one.<br />5 - Have brilliant discussion with guy on the next bar stool. Devise fool-proof scheme for wining lottery, sort out Denver Broncos defense problems.<br />6 - Feel like a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Demi</span>-God. Map out rest of life on cocktail napkin. Realize that everybody loves you. Call parents and tell them you love them. Call girlfriend to tell her you love her and she still has an amazing ass.<br />7 - Send drinks over to woman sitting at table with boyfriend. No reaction. Scribble out message of love on five cocktail napkins and Frisbee them to her across the room. Boyfriend asks you outside. You buy him a Slim <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Panatela</span>.<br />8 - Some slurring. Offer to buy drinks for everyone in room. Lots of people say yes. Go round the bar hugging them one by one. Fall over. Get up.<br />9 - Head-ache kicks in. Michelob tastes off. Send it back. Next bottle comes back tasting same. Say, "That's much better". Fight nausea by trying to play old Space Invaders game for ten minutes before seeing out of order sign.<br />10 - Some doubling of vision. Stand on table shouting abuse at all four bartenders. Talked down by bartender's wives, who you offer to give a baby to. Fall over. Get up. Fall over. Impale head on corner of table. Fail to notice oozing head wound.<br />11 - Speech no longer possible. Eventually manage to find door. Sit and take stock. Realize you are sitting in pub cellar, having taken a wrong turning. Vomit. Pass out.<br />12 - Put in cab by somebody. Give home address. Taken home. Can't get key in door. Realize you've given address of your local gym. Generally pleased at way evening has gone. Pass out again.Doug Dalehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00203953359446964725noreply@blogger.com0